Humanoids and the Whatnot.

Every body of water has its secrets. And I'm not just talking about kids peeing in the pool here. No, I am talking about frightening, dangerous and real creatures that haunt the deep waters of the earth.

There's the Creature of the Black Lagoon, a monster of the "mist-shrouded Amazon, the domain of a prehistoric, amphibious "Gill Man" -- possibly the last of a species of fanged, clawed humanoids who may have evolved entirely underwater." amctv.com Yes, fanged, clawed humanoids. But also note that he is possibly the last. There may be more. Please use care on your next voyage down the mist-shrouded Amazon.

Note: In the accompanying actual photograph of the Creature of the Black Lagoon, he is, indeed, real and has a penchant for the ladies.



Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster has been traumatizing young Scots in kilts for decades.

Note: The Scots wear the kilts, not the Monster.

Another Note: Personally, I like the kilt. Men in skirts, fine. Men with bagpipes, not fine.

Nessie has been described as "egg-shaped" or "two-humped" or "elephant-like" which is a description that applies to many types of animal life, including some member of my pilates classes. Please refer to the actual photo below, taken at the trembling hand of a brave soul. But if one looks closely enough, the creature is there. It is real. It is frightening.




A new monster has been sighted on the shores of a wine country lake. The creature is described as "multi-tentacled" and "quite buff" and although it is photographed on the shore, authorities believe it is amphibious and spends time in the Deep. Dark. Water.

Note: It's a rough photograph, taken at the trembling hand of a brave soul, but if one looks closely enough, the creature is there. It is real. It is frightening.



And it bears a stunning resemblance to Ursula, from The Little Mermaid, also a real monster.



It is, I believe, The Trophy Monster of Lake Sonoma.