Return. Of the Oxy. Moron.

Noun

1. oxymoron - conjoining contradictory terms (as in `deafening silence')

or, perhaps as in ...

Making sloppy joes, the ultimate Manwich-inspired, almost-but-not-quite Hamburger Helper, in my $200 All-Clad D5 Stainless Steel Saute Pan.

Note: Hamburger Helper now comes in 'Whole Grain' Helper. No kidding.

or, perhaps as in ...

Topping my nonfat, sugar-free 9-calorie-per-ounce frozen yogurt with creamy hot fudge sauce.

or, perhaps as in ...

Watching the dude behind me, who is driving too fast AND on his cell-phone (a $142 fine in the great state of California) AND dangling a stinky, nasty cigarette between his fingers while exhaling stinky, nasty smoke and picking his nose and eating the stinky, nasty booger, probably.

Note: Oops, my bad. That's not an oxy-moron. Just a straight-up moron.

Heck, yes!