Friday, June 18, 2010

Public. Service. Announcement.

It has come to my attention that some folks need a little in-depth instruction regarding driving. Perhaps you have encountered these same knuckleheads. Or maybe you are that knucklehead. As a public service, may I provide the following important information. Remember, the life you save may be your own, especially if you are a knucklehead.

Let us begin with a simple reminder: READ THE SIGNS

For example, the word STOP can be loosely translated to mean "STOP, you stupid IDIOT!" The word STOP does not mean "STOP if you feel like it" or "STOP only if the oncoming car is bigger than yours."

Let us move on and consider the "NO U-Turn Sign". It means, loosely translated, "What part of NO-U Turn do you not understand, you stupid IDIOT!" and not, for example, "NO-U Turn unless you are CLEARLY more special than other drivers, which is probably evidenced by the HUGE truck you are driving that if you are not careful, will knock down the utility pole you are GOING TO HIT if you attempt a U-Turn in that annoying vehicle."

Then there is the YIELD sign. When a sign says YIELD, then one YIELDS. To everything. To everyone. The YIELD sign means, loosely translated, "To give up the contest; to submit; to surrender; to succumb, you stupid IDIOT!"

Thank you for your attention.

You knucklehead.

Heck, yes!

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Did you have an encounter with an idiot? Is the aging SUV ok?