Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Eureka! The Secret to Eternal Youth. Is Mine!

I am sitting at the frozen yogurt place stirring my concoction, a little.

Note: My concoction is always the same, which is not such a surprise to anyone who knows me. Sugar-free, nonfat vanilla with a dusting of coconut, hot fudge and caramel sauce to create the illusion of German Chocolate Cake.

Additional Note: And it weighs 3.8 ounces. Give or take a tenth of an ounce, or so.

I am sitting at a table with two gorgeous high school seniors. The girls have long, cascading hair, full lips, lovely faces. Like I used to look, yes.

Note: Okay, fine. Maybe not.

A tall, nice-looking college-age dude enters and as men do, he checks out the girls at the table. The young ladies are oblivious to his glances as they laugh and toss their heads and whatnot.

Note: Okay, fine. There was no head tossing.

He approaches the table. His eyes are wide. With appreciation. He is hopeful. His hopefulness is evident by his raised-eyebrow position and his shy smile.

He stands there. We all look up at him. He glances about the table.

Is that the new 3G? he asks, pointing at my iPad, Paddy, and in his excitement, his words come out quickly now. I havethewifi and iloveit and ithink iwanttheupgrade and isitworthit and canitakealook and haveyounoticedtheHDstreaming?

Sweet Holy Moses! He's talking to me. Not the gorgeous creatures beside me! And he's talking to Paddy, yes. But his speech is directed to me! If I ask him to, I swear he would pull up a chair and sit down and babble and eat yogurt and admire me. I mean, Paddy. Of course that's what I mean.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have discovered the secret to eternal youth and attractiveness: Technology!

Heck, yes!


Amanda P said...

haha. That's how I keep my man around.

Lindsay said...

You are the Trophy Wife. Technology had NOTHING to do with it!