Bacon. On. The. Run.

I have misplaced many things. In the past. And I am certain that I will continue to do so in the future. Things like car keys and cellphones and earrings and birthday gifts.

But this situation is ridiculous. It takes the cake. It is lame-sauce, yes.

I have misplaced my bacon.

Note: I know.

The bacon can be described as Oscar Mayer Center Cut with five missing pieces. It was last seen in my kitchen yesterday. I have checked all of the usual places such as the refrigerator, the other refrigerator, the beverage refrigerator, the freezer, the other freezer, the garbage, the dishwasher and of course, my new orange handbag.

Nothing.

It has flown the coop. It has left the building. It has seasoned it's last green bean, yes.

Run like the wind, little buddy. Run like the wind.