Rubi and I were out strolling in the morning sun today and we saw the "regulars." There was the guy that I have named "Dan" who looks at the ladies just a bit too long as he passes by. I'll bet "Dan" loves it when "Irritating Blonde Girl" goes by with her perfect body and perfect hair and perfect everything. Sometimes I just want to punch her.
I saw the "Visor Gals" who wear beaded visors and talk really, really loud. You can hear them coming way before you can see them. "SO I SCREAMED AND JUMPED AND THE GOLF BALL BARELY MISSED ME. CAN YOU IMAGINE SUCH A TERRIBLE SHOT?" (Note to Visor Gals: Yes, I can. I have collected hundreds of those $5 golf balls in my backyard as documentation).
Obsessive dog-rescue lady passed by with her increasingly large "flock" of greyhounds and one big ol' lab. Speaking of large, I saw Malamute Guy with his huge and intimidating dog. Malamute Guy does not speak; he gives the chin nod.
Note to Malamute guy: Everyone knows that you are just compensating with that big dog.
Oh yeah, Princess Leah guy jogged by very slowly. He wears giant 1970's headphones and he looks like he is wearing cinnamon buns on his head. From a distance. With cataract eyes. Get an iPod, dude.
And the crows were cawing. And the lizards were scuttling. The summer sun was callin' my name.
When things couldn't get any better, they did. Coming toward me, and I kid you not, was a vintage mustardy-color station wagon with wood on the sides. Wood, I tell you! The driver's side window was down and golden hair streamed out.
As Rubi is my witness, Marcia Brady was driving down my street. She turned the corner and was gone. Probably to never return. But we had our moment.
It's a sunshine day!
1 comment:
Fantastic. There aren't many regulars on my street walkin' their dogs. In fact, I think I'm the only regular.
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