Monday, September 28, 2009

So, wow.

So, wow. The women's locker room at the gym.

Disclaimer Number One: I rarely frequent the women's locker room. I have a pee-before at home and pee-afterwards at home policy.

Disclaimer Number Two: This blog post may contain material upsetting to anyone-with-common-sense or good taste. Reader discretion is advised. But now you've got to know.

Disclaimer Number Three: For the last time, I do not make this stuff up. How could I?

So, wow. The women's locker room at the gym.

The locker room is full of activity today, meaning there are lots of ladies in various stages of naked. And in various stages of fitness. Mostly not-so-fit. Seinfeld once had an episode which discussed "good naked" and "bad naked". And although I'm sorry to burst the bubble of my male reader, the women's locker room is an example of "bad naked".

Very bad. Really very bad.

I keep my eyes straight ahead. Well, mostly. It's very hard when naked people are walking around or stooping or toweling. It's a little like a train wreck, I guess, except worse.

So, wow.

I finish my business and go to wash my hands--eyes straight ahead. Things are going okay (relatively) until the time comes to dry my hands.

In the past, I have seen women use the hand dryers to blow-dry their hair. Naked, of course. They turn the nozzles up and flip their hair around. Yeah, other body parts are sort of jibbling and jinkering about. It's unsavory.

Today, however, a woman is standing there, naked, of course. But no hair drying. She is hefting her, um, bosom in the air and drying underneath. Underneath the bosom, yes.

To make matters worse, she sees me standing there, trying not to gape, hands dripping. She kindly turns the nozzle toward me. Standing there with one hand on her, er, bosom and the other on the streaming nozzle of air she says, "Would you like to dry your hands?'

So, wow.


hailey said...

i seriously just laughed out loud. haha, it is pretty gross. i know!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's a lot like that at my gym too. A lot of ladies will not only blow dry their hair naked but also do their makeup naked and carry on conversations naked.

I kind envy their comfort level with their nude bodies.

I got totally used to seeing other females naked in the high school locker room, what with the mandatory group showers in gym class all through high school. So seeing other women nude isn't a problem for me. It's my nudity that I have a hard time with.