Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Second Sign. Of the Apocalypse.

Sweet Holy Moses, the end is in sight. Or perhaps The Hub's end is in sight, if you know what I mean.

Note: How can you possibly know what I mean? I don't even know what I mean.

The Apocalyptic Scenario: I'm just minding my own business, as I am apt to do, when it hits me. While eating my giant dinner salad it hits me, yes. With my can of seasonally-available Diet Cranberry Splash Sierra Mist, purchased for me in a handy 12-pack. By the Hub.

It's delicious.

Lemon-lime soda with cranberry flavor, the can reads. Caffeine free, the can reads. Naturally Sweetened, the can reads.

That's hilarious, I'm thinking. Since when is Splenda natural?

So, I'm laughing in my mind at the hilarity of Natural Splenda.

Why does the can read 'Made With Real Sugar'? I am wondering when I realize that I don't see the word Diet on the can. I don't see it anywhere.

I am shaking a bit as I turn the can to read the bitter truth. I am not sure if I am shaking from fear or shaking from the natural sweetening.

160 calories per serving.


I am spewing Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash all over my dinner salad. Darn! I am thinking, or something similar, yes, I spewed 160 calories all over my salad! And I am thinking Exactly how many of these seasonally-available sugar bombs have I consumed today? I am thinking How many sugar-free jellos must I skip to make up for thousands of calories of NATURAL SWEETENING?

I have a headache.

Probably from the Freaking Sugar.

First, Bristol Palin and now THIS? The end is near.


Matthew Gamblin said...

Calories from soda do not the end of the world make.

However, it could be a sign of IMPENDING doom. As the sugar overtakes your FACE!

Amanda P said...

We made that SAME mistake with that soda! The regular and diet look sooooo similar. The diet is out there, though. Just read closely. :)