In Defense. Of Happy. And Sugar. And Prizes.

The Happiest Place on Earth isn't quite so happy anymore.

I'm not talking about Disneyland, no. I am talking about the other "happiest" place on earth. San Francisco, yes.

Note: I do not make up the news, folks. I simply report the news. Because that's what I do.

Additional Note: No I don't.

In a strange turn of election results, the Supervisors of San Francisco (which would make a snappy name for a Rock Band) have outlawed, yes, the serving of The Happy Meal as we know it. The Happy Meal will now simply be a meal. The Happy part has been removed.

Note: I am referring to the prize, yes.

Apparently, it is a known fact that PRIZES promote OBESITY and although HAPPINESS is found in PRIZES, it also remains a fact, apparently, that OBESITY does not produce HAPPINESS.

Sorry kids. No more Strawberry Shortcake Happy Meal toys for you.

What the heck? When I was a kid, cereal boxes had prizes in them. Cool stuff like secret decoder rings and bracelets and disappearing ink pens.

Note: The ink disappeared, not the pens, usually.

And yes, we selected our cereal based on the prize factor, and yes, it made us Happy. And it was fun! It was exciting! And the sugary flakes were delicious!

Note: In fact, They were GREEEAAAT!

This whole anti-prize theory reeks of conspiracy. Yes, I believe it is a conspiracy theory! Have you looked at cereal boxes lately? All they contain is whole grains and fiber. Not a prize in sight.

And Happy Meals without prizes?

America was built on prizes. And sugar. And "Contains small parts. Not intended for Children Under 3".

Heck, yes!