Wednesday, November 10, 2010

If You Give a Dog a Cookie.

It appears that I have created a monster.

It's my dog, Rubi.

Note: Well, Rubi is not my literal creation, no, because not only does that concept make no sense, it is also a bit creepy, yes.

Additional Note: Don't you dare make snide comments in your mind about my little monster's MONSTER eyes. Such as Her eyes are straight out of a horror movie or Hey! She looks like a Gremlin or Is she related to Lady Gaga?

Additional Note to the Note: No. No. And I don't believe so, but I cannot entirely rule it out.

Rubi does not speak English verbally, but she uses a mix of vocal cues and physical cues to let me know of her needs. Exactly her needs, yes.

Note: She is, after all, a woman.

Rubi vocalizes through a sound low in her throat, guttural even, that sounds a little like a growl but without the menace.

Note: Granted, a fifteen pound dog has to work at menacing. Still.

By vocalizing in a given location, she expresses her needs. For example:

Sitting at the front door: I want to GO! Please get my leash!

Sitting at the back door: I want to go out. I need to Pee/Poop or Harass the Cats/Raccoons/Turkeys. Please.

Sitting in the entrance of the Pantry: I want a cookie. NO! Not that cookie. ANOTHER cookie.

Sitting by the Bed: I want up. I want to climb to the highest point on the pillows and survey my kingdom.

However, her latest location stumps me. She sits by the refrigerator and vocalizes. OVER and OVER. Nothing appeases her.


I give up. I decide to have a jello. Sugar-free of course. I pull out the canister of whipped cream. Rubi jumps up and down, spinning with delight.

Oh my. I've created a Monster!

Heck, yes!

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