Thursday, November 11, 2010

Friends, Romans, Countrymen; Lend Me Your (Right) Ears!

My bluetooth headset has not been working well in my right ear.

Note: Do not ask why.

Okay, fine. I will tell you: I am hoping that I suffer from allergies which produce fluid and plug the ear from the inside, making hearing more difficult. Unfortunately, it is more likely that my ear is plugged from the outside and such talk makes poor blog fodder, yes.

Regardless of the cause, my bluetooth headset has not been working well in my right ear. So, I switch it to the left ear.

Note: Switching the little ear-scoop on the headset is rather complicated and not for the faint of heart so please do not attempt to do so without a pre-pubescent child to help you. And mock you.

The switch, however, has resulted in a somewhat remarkable discovery.

I appear to be right-eared, yes.

And why not be right-eared? We all understand the concept of right-handed or left-handed and even right-legged or left-legged or peg-legged, if you're a pirate, and we understand the concept of right wing or left wing, politically speaking, so why not right-eared? It is a completely logical conclusion, yes.

So, although the sound in my left ear is louder, yes, the words are now in some sort of foreign language, I believe. Or perhaps because I am right-eared, apparently, the sound enters my brain but runs into a roadblock, such as my huge gigantic brain's parietal lobe or maybe my occipital lobe or even my plush bathrobe, for all I know. The passage is somehow blocked and sadly, as a right-eared individual, I cannot simply erase 47 years of phones held to my right ear.

Yes, I am right-eared.

So, I must switch the little ear-scoop back to the right-ear position. Because accepting my right-earedness is a far better alternative than a visit to the drug store to buy one of those nasty kits with syringes and pictures of old people's gigantic earlobes on the carton.

I'm glad that I cannot hear your mockery.

Carry on!

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

I hate the word fluid. I didn't know this until reading your post. FLU-ID. Bleck.