Ducks Doing Disco. Icy Souls. Whatnot.

I am spending too much time in the car.

Translation: I am being exposed to way too much crappy music.

I am fortunate; I grew and matured in an era of classic music, such as but not limited to Disco Duck by Rick Dees and his Cast of Idiots or Get Dancin' by Disco Tex and the Sex-O-Lettes. Oh, I am not kidding, unfortunately.

Note: What is it with kids' music nowadays?

So, I am minding my own business, cruising along with The Hub, when Christina Perri comes on the radio. Again.

Note: Didn't we just hear this song twelve minutes ago?

The lyrics to her song, "Jar of Hearts" are so vapid. Way too much rhyming, lame metaphors.

And who do you think you are

Running 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul.

Somebody gets paid to write this stuff?

Note: Everybody knows that you can't catch a cold from the cold. It's a virus. Sheesh.

I realize now that I have missed my calling. I should be writing song lyrics! I should be rich! I should be living in a house on a hill. Wait, I already do. But a bigger house on a bigger hill! With views! Of stuff!

Heck, I will prove it by writing a verse right now. It will be a love song, of course.

I wrote about you in my blog

Because I love you like my Dog

So please don't lick your parts

But go and fetch my heart

Then Sit. And Stay.

With Me. All Day.

Yeah.

Note: There's more where that came from. Contact my agent for more details.

Heck, yes!