Saturday, July 3, 2010

Pandemics. Prayers. Paddies, yes.

I may be the first to report regarding this emerging situation. Later, when this information hits the fan, and it will, please remember that you read it here first.

A major pandemic, yes, is set to sweep this country before escalating to all major population centers.

Note: The definition of a major population center is 'an area with Internet access'.

A potentially devastating illness has been identified. And yes, I am one of the victims. To give my dear readers a greater sense of the gravity of this situation and to serve as a voice of warning, please consider the following:

The swine flu affected 271,000 people. This new pandemic could affect three million people and the numbers will only increase.

Watch for the symptoms of Spiny-neckus-iPaddyatosis.

The symptoms may be mild at first, with a dull headache and a slight cramping in the lumbar spine. The illness escalates rapidly to a stiff neck (hence the spiny neckus) and dull aching through the shoulders and head. Victims may try to put down their iPads or they may attempt more adequate neck support while using said product, but there is little that can be done. There is no treatment. Giving up the iPad is not an option.

Please pray for me. Pray for all of us.

Heck, yes!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad, Paddy. Or Paddington, if you prefer the more formal approach.

Location:Highway 101, College Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA, United States

No comments: