So, I get a phone call. From my neighbor, whom I shall call 'Rob'. Actually, his name really is Rob, which is why I feel comfortable calling him by that name.
Are you home? he is asking.
No, I'm in Fresno. No, Rob, this is not a joke.
Note: There are magazines in my 'hotel' room with titles like Destination: Fresno and Fresno: The New California. Yes, really.
Rob is telling me that my car alarm is going off and am I home? or will I be soon? because my neighbors may get cranky before too long.
Note: The whole situation is befuddling because I do not have a car alarm.
I say, I'm in Fresno and he thinks that's funny. I say, I do not have a car alarm and he thinks that is also funny.
Meanwhile, my car alarm is going off. I explain to Rob how to break into my house and get my car keys and see if my remote will turn the alarm off. The alarm I do not have.
Rob says Don't worry about it, I'll take off a battery cable and you two have fun and whatnot.
Note: Oh, we are.
What the Heck?, yes!
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