Oh, Martha. Dear, Dear Martha. Lame!

I am watching Martha Stewart as I usually do. She is recorded on my DVR and I am cleaning and/or cooking and/or doing whatever-else-I-do-and-it's-plenty-you'd-better-believe-it so sometimes I pay poor attention and sometimes I pay little attention and sometimes I pay no attention at all especially if Martha is talking about ancient Peruvian stemware artisans or how to make your own kayak in 12,649 easy steps. But sometimes I am very interested in what she's doing but then I forget to listen and I have to keep rewinding it. Over and over. My record is 12 times rewinding because I could not remember to listen long enough to actually listen.

Note: I do not have ADD.

So, she is talking to actor Andy Garcia who is, possibly, even more boring than Martha. They are making savory waffles with fluffy egg whites and bacon and cheddar cheese to eat alongside the pork belly prepared earlier in the episode.

Note: I can think of nothing less appetizing than the belly of the pig. Nothing, that is, that can be discussed on a family blog.

Andy, do you make waffles at home? Martha is asking, ladling the batter into two rockin' awesome waffle-makers.

Note: She has four of the wafflers at her house in Maine! Four! That is more waffle-makers than the number provided at the complimentary breakfast bar at the Days Inn in Provo.

No, he is saying, but I eat the frozen ones.

Martha is aghast.

Well, he says, I need the gluten-free variety.

Note: My ears perk up on account of so do I.

Oh, Martha says. How long have you been a vegan?

Oh, Martha. Dear, Dear Martha.

Note: Hang your head in shame.