The Drama. Of the Dance.

Last night's Dancing with the Stars had more drama than a, well, Daytime Drama and I should know because I've been watching All My Children since I was fourteen and that's more than thirty years now and what the heck? Am I seriously that old?

Note: Apparently, yes.

So, last night it seems that the Pros had their panties in a bunch on account of the Stars, which is a very generous use of the word in the cases of most of these folks were either a) not cooperating or b) not very talented, unfortunately.

During Aiden Turner's tenure on All My Children I watched him search for his fiance who had fallen into an underground cave with her best friend's husband and then Aiden had grief sex with the husband's wife, which as you recall was his fiance's best friend and I watched him go undercover in a mental institution to get the goods on an evil doctor while falling in love with a patient who turned out not to be crazy anymore but then she got crazy again later and I guess the mental institution proved too much for him because he kind of lost his mind and kidnapped the grief sex partner to keep her as his own, kind of like a pet. But last night's drama with Pro Edyta stomping around half-dressed and pouty because poor Aiden can't dance a lick, really, was over the top.

Edyta was not alone in her poor behavior and drama.

Kate Gosselin is possibly the world's worst dancer, except for Buzz Aldrin who doesn't count because he's ancient, sorry to say, but she may have a future on daytime television. She flailed and moaned and drove Pro Tony absolutely nuts until he says I quit and marches away and Kate sits there dejectedly moaning Why do men always leave me?

Note: I am not sure if she really said that or if I dreamed it.

Chad Ochocinco, the football wide receiver who changed his last name to the spanish numerical equivalent of the numbers on his jersey, spent most of the week lusting after Pro Cheryl Burke's whatnot and she was clearly flustered and delighted by the hunk's attention and their dance was pretty bad but I still consider them the couple most likely to do the ding-dang-dilly at some point in the future.

A couple will be eliminated tonight, hopefully Buzz because, and I mean no disrespect, if I have

to look at his wife Lois' plastic-surgeried face which unfortunately looks a little alien-esque which cannot be coincidental to Buzz' space travels for even one more week, I may succumb to a really a bad case of the jitters.

So there you have it. The Drama. And the Dance.

Heck, yes!