Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Zebra: A True American Hero

Okay, I know that zebras are not originally from the United States. But if you want to get technical about it, few of us are originals. Theoretically, I'm a Swiss/French blend myself (sounds like a yummy recipe for fondue--make a note of that) which means I don't qualify as a true American hero either, except that I was born here and so are most of the zebras I see in these parts. Of the zoo variety, of course. I'm not sure about the wild zebras running freely along the golf course in my backyard. (And the eye doctor seems to think my current 'spectacle' prescription is fine. Seriously, that's what they called it--my spectacles! More on that later).

We went to the Oakland Zoo and had a chance to see lots of interesting animals including apes that ate their own poop (and they say our genetics are 99.8% the same? That .02% is pretty major, I'd say) and supermodel turtles that posed for pictures. But it's the zebras that captured my attention--and my heart.

And thus inspired this little lesson for all trophy wives or trophy-wives-in-training that may be reading this blog: (Or both of them. My readership is not terribly impressive.)

I have been told my whole life, by people I trust no less, that horizontal stripes are a NO for every woman. Period. End of story. And horizontal stripes on the behind? Are you kidding me? Then, imagine my delight when the zebras at the zoo not only wore horizontal stripes on their behinds, but flaunted it! No sooner had I arrived at the zebra pen (habitat?) when those zany little ladies turned their voluptuous, curvaceous behinds to me and showed me their stuff. They weren't ashamed of their round bums, knobby knees or horizontal stripes and they were workin' it.

Lesson learned, ladies (and men, too--for both of the men that may read this note): You are fantastic the way you are. This concept is not an excuse to become complacent in our self-improvement efforts, but for goodness sake: Love yourself today! Flaunt your stuff!

In the immortal words of Fat Boy Slim: Shake What Ya Mama Gave Ya!

1 comment:

Amanda P said...

I really love that you called them "zany ladies." You better be out there workin' it, too, lady. Shake what YOUR mama did (or did not, as the case may be) give you!