Have you ever noticed that when you go to the gym (and I am assuming that all of you do, since it is a requisite of trophy wifeness--or if you are a man, of trophy wife-deservation), that the same people are always there. No matter when you go.
How can this be? Do they live at the gym? Are they "plants" of some kind, hired by 24 Hr. Fitness to walk around, filling up space? And if they are "plants" of some kind, why aren't they in better shape by now? And why do they look as they do? Shouldn't they look more anonymous, somehow?
Here is my list of "What's with the Dude?" patrons as viewed at my local gym. Of course, some of the dudes are chicks, which is duly noted.
•Aren't Hammer Pants Still in Style? Dude
•Super-tight shirt and super-tight, super-short shorts complete with weight-lifting belt Guy
•Your Tummy Tuck didn't turn out as well as you think Chick
•Your Moustache is Older than my Son Guy
•Old Guy with Shirt tucked Neatly Over Big Belly
•Are my Implants Really That Obvious? Chick
and one more favorite
•Hiking Boot Dude
Which got me to wondering about the above folks--and others who see me routinely at the gym. What name do they call me in the privacy of their own minds? While I would dream of "Darn Hot Blonde Chick" or even "Pretty Darn Hot Blonde if You're into Older Babes", but I think it could possibly be more like, "She's Not A Real Blonde Who Could Use a Sandwich Chick."
So, who frequents YOUR gym?
2 comments:
My job is frequented by super-hot-fake-boob-girl-who-does-nothing-but-the-stairmaster and Awkward-lunge-dude. And, me, of course, fruit-stripe-gum-girl (because my clothes are such outrageous colors).
Hey--I think that girl is at my gym too!
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