Thursday, August 5, 2010

A Bit of a Conundrum, Yes.

Disclaimer and Warning and Whatnot: This post contains references to stuff that men don't like to buy in Supermarkets for their wives. And other things. In pharmacies. Just so you know.

I walk into Safeway. But not my Safeway. Another Safeway. Which is located in the general location of my errand-running. Because I am in dire need of, well, feminine products and so here I am in Safeway. But not my Safeway.

I stand there. Because I do not know where the lady products reside in this particular Safeway. I just stand there with my cart, surveying the aisle markers for familiar words.

Note: I do not know why I selected a cart. Maybe I am purchasing LOTS of feminine products.

Additional Note: Actually, there is a rule about the purchasing of feminine products. One must never purchase only the product. Oh no. Then it's obvious that the product is needed. RIGHT NOW.

So, I buy zucchini and diet soda and a magazine featuring The Bachelorette's heart-wrenching decision. But I cannot find the darn lady-product aisle.

Note: Because it is not my Safeway, no.

A perky, ruddy-faced young fellow pops in front me with a broom and a smile, setting off my startle reflex, which is another post. Entirely.

May I help you find something? His eyebrows are up, in a hopeful manner.

I debate saying Hey Kid, where do you hide the t@m9o6s, but the thought is too traumatizing. For both us.

You see, I worked in a pharmacy when I was sixteen. Sixteen and foxy, yes. A dude comes in, attractive. Maybe late twenties. He stands quietly in line, reverently almost, before stepping forward and softly asking if he could buy a pack of conundrums.

I do not understand the request. What? I ask.

He repeats himself. Repeatedly.

The Pharmacist bolts from behind the place where the Pharmacists hide, holding a brown paper bag. I'll handle this customer, he says.

I shrug.

Later, I realize that I am an idiot.

Note: It's not my fault. I am sixteen. I do not know that r&66$rs have an official name. Sheesh.

So, yeah.


Amanda P said...

Haha. Worse part is...I know who you were actually buying said feminine products for. Thanks for that, by the way.

Roger and Jackie Harris said...

Did you find what you were looking for? Not in YOUR Safeway. Were you in MY Safeway?

The Hays Family said...

I had that same conundrum while we were on our way to Santa Cruz... so we stopped at a Safeway in San Jose and not only could I not find said aisle, but once I did, I then had to ask where the ladies room was.

I remember it being so far removed from the rest of the store it was located in what seemed like another country.I'm pretty sure that I used to major freeways, a canoe & a mountain goat to get to the restroom. All while carrying my feminine products Back through the store in which I had just purchased them.