So, the Groomer. Priceless. Really.

So, the Groomer.

Rubi knows we are arriving at the Groomer. I have not told her. Yet. But she can smell the fear in the air, I suppose, or at least she can smell the shampoo. She jumps into the back of my aging SUV and hides under the air compressor.

Note: What? You don't have an air compressor in the back of your SUV? And what, exactly, do you do when your pilates ball needs inflating?

Rubi is slinking along the sidewalk, pressing her nine teeny tiny little nipples into the cement. I pick her up. Poor dear. She is trembling. I hand her to the Groomer. Her legs splay out, like she is playing airplane. And flying away to someplace with no groomers, I imagine.

Note: Actually, I believe that she believes that if she is in airplane position, she cannot be placed in the sink. For washing. Or on the table. For blow drying. Or in the noose. For trimming. And clipping. And squeezing.

Two hours later, she is done. She hears me walk in the door. Or smells me. Or whatever. I hear her calling Mom! Mom! I'm here. Back here!

Groomer brings Rubi out. Rubi is elated. Rubi is pulling on her leash to reach the front door. With all her 14.2 pound might. He neatly-clipped toenails are sliding against the tile.

I write the check. For $65.00.

Yes, I am saying that I pay Groomer $65.00 (which includes tip) every six weeks. Yes, my own haircut runs $55.00. Every 12 weeks. But I believe Rubi's fee is a bargain.

Think about it. A shampoo, cut, blowdry, manicure, pedicure, ear cleaning and anal gland squeezing for $65.00. Yes, I am saying the words anal gland squeezing.

Note: Even if the fee covered just the squeezing, it's worth it.

Shih Tzu Puppy: $500.00

Yearly Shots: $50.00

Pet Sitter: $20/day

Anal Gland Squeezing: Priceless

Heck, yes!