I am driving home from my pilates class. I am waving (too) energetically at the Liberty Mutual statues on the corner. The statues are raising their eyebrows at me. As if.
Note: I am not the one standing on a street corner in a Statue of Liberty costume, so simmer down, pal(s).
Clearly, I am bored. And thirsty. I am willing a good song to play on the radio. To get me out of my bored-thirsty-driving misery.
Sadly, a good song does not come on the radio. Instead, Family Man, a 1983 "classic" from Hall & Oates comes on the radio.
Note: The 80's were not exactly an era of "classic" anything. Take the stirrup pant, for example. On women like me, with long legs and after a wash and shrink, the crotch of the stupid thing hung halfway down to my knees. Nice. Now that's a classy look.
So, in this snappy little tune, the "Family Man" is confronted by a, well, lady of the evening who is pleased to offer herself and her sulky smile and her sultry eyes "for a price." To which the Family Man responds:
"Leave Me Alone, I'm A Family Man,
And My Bark Is Much Worse Than My Bite!"
He Said, "Leave Me Alone, I'm A Family Man.
If You Push Me Too Far, I Just Might...."
Might what? Bark? Bite? Break into song?
Apparently, the, um, hooker then fixes her makeup and gives him a toss of the head and whatnot. Hooker moves, yes.
And the Family Man responds:
"Leave Me Alone, I'm A Family Man,
And My Bark Is Much Worse Than My Bite!"
He Said, "Leave Me Alone, I'm A Family Man.
If You Push Me Too Far, I Just Might...."
Note: That dot-dot-dot-dot is a dead giveaway! Dude, grow some!
I think I have a headache. Would someone please pass me the diet Coke and get me out of my misery?
Family Men.
Oh yeah,
definitely.
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