Monday, February 22, 2010

I Need a Statue. Of Me. Pronto.

I am reading the morning newspaper. Sort of. I am actually eating egg whites and hot cereal and whipped cream and drinking a diet cherry 7-up. And cooking beef stroganoff and chicken chili and orange chicken with steamed rice. And watching the ladies on The View arguing. About something. And squirting whipped cream on my finger. For Rubi, who is sitting at my feet, waiting to lick. I can feel her big eyes staring at me. Whipped cream, she is saying, I must have it. Now.

Back to the newspaper. I note that Rapper Kas is facing contempt charges. And today is Drew Barrymore's birthday. She is 35. No more mini skirts for her. I read that optimistic and happy people are less likely to suffer from heart disease. So, I smile and laugh. Out loud. For my health and longevity, of course.

Then I find an article about the controversial statue of President Obama in front of the school he attended during his childhood in Jakharta.

Note: Further investigation reveals that Jakharta is in Indonesia, for the benefit of the geographically impaired, and you know who you are.

I can not lie, the statue amuses me. I enjoy statues in general, i.e. the Liberty Mutual Statues. And Hub and I regularly discuss the huge monuments we must have on our graves someday.

Note: Simmer down. We're joking. I do not really want a life-sized statue of myself on my grave. With angel wings. And big boobs. Well, maybe the big boobs.

The statue in question depicts a 10-year old Obama, apparently, standing with a butterfly on his extended hand. He looks like a very happy . . . squashed adult Obama. I'm just saying. When I was ten years old, I looked ten years old. I had long, stringy hair and a puffy pre-teen face and too-long legs and too-long arms and well, that's all.

Please note the profile examinations below. Hmmmn.

Note: The statue reminds me very much of America's Funniest Home Videos with Tom Bergeron's
head dropped on unsuspecting bodies.

So, although I have no political motive whatsoever in my assessment of the statue, may I say:

Heck, yes!

1 comment:

brie said...

can i just say that i absolutely have political motivation when i say

aw, HIZELL no!