Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Snap! Crackle! Pop!

We are experiencing a cold snap. I find it most interesting and descriptive that frigid weather is described as a cold snap. Snapping is the sound of ice crackling on the windshield when water is poured on it to melt it because there is no room for the car in the garage with all the Christmas boxes all over the place and it is the sound of tight muscles popping when a bum is landing on the driveway after slipping on an icy patch outside the front steps over on the side of the house where the gutter leaks.

Note: The previous examples are completely rhetorical.

The word 'snap' could also used to express one's utter disgust at slipping on the icy patch outside the front steps and landing on one's bum. Rhetorically, of course. Oh, snap! I fell on my bum!

Note: Snap is not the first word I would think to use. Rhetorically or otherwise.

Hot weather is referred to as a 'hot streak'. Yes, there are many descriptive possibilities with streaking and heat, but today I am discussing the current cold snap.

My Pilates Pal Pam (a charming illiteration, yes) and I are leaving the rec center. We are chatting together. We are chatting about her scarf, which she knitted. It is a beautiful scarf. I feel a bit covetous about the scarf. We are talking about knitting now. And that knitting is expensive. Because fine yarn is costly.

Triple P and I are talking about fine yarn. Her finest yarn costs $90 a skein. Snap, that's a lot of money, I say.

Note: Okay, fine. I did not say snap.

Triple P says it comes from the underbelly of the musk ox. It is relatively rare.

Note: Under belly of the musk ox? And it's relatively rare?

Now, that's a lousy job. Living in the arctic, sliding under an unsuspecting two-ton animal, giving him a little belly rub and snipping his fine underbelly fur. So Triple P can make a scarf.



Amanda P said...

Or, perhaps, Snap is the sound your long underwear makes as you pull it allllll the way up to ward off the cold.

Matthew Gamblin said...

I still think it's hilarious that you, sister, will be wearing long underwear out of necessity. Wow.

As for the bum ... I remember falling and damaging my leather jacket once. Completely rhetorically, of course.