Life with a Neanderthal. It's a Rough Road, Yes.

I am living with a neanderthal, yes.

Oh, silly readers, I am not referring to The Hub, The Great Gem in My Trophy Wife Crown.

Note: That was a good one, indeed.

Oh, silly readers, I am not referring to Rubi the Dog, the most genteel of Whipped Cream Afficionados.

I am referring to my stupid, crappy, irritating, out-dated, lazy, procrastinating, and annoying cell phone.

If cell phones had knuckles, my cell phone would be dragging its knuckles. On the floor, yes.

If cell phones had clothes, my cell phone would be wearing some sort of goat-skin diapery thing to cover its apparent (lack of) manhood.

If cell phones had hair, my cell phone would have wild, crazy, nasty hair, a little like Conan O'Brien, yes.

Oh, I'm not complaining here. I'm just saying.

And I'm just saying it on a stupid, crappy, irritating, out-dated, lazy, procrastinating, and annoying cell phone!

Carry on.