Lend Me An Ear ... Sort Of.

I think I am going through my dark period.

All great artists have them, you know.

Note: Do not scoff the greatness of my artistry.

Van Gogh, in a fit of something or other, cuts off his ear and gives it to a prostitute. And the great pianist Schumann, after permanently damaging his hand with some wacky apparatus to strengthen his fingers, throws himself off of a bridge. And of course, there's Britney Spears, forgetting to wear her underwear. Repeatedly.

Note: Oops, I did it again.

Yes, I think I am going through my dark period. But please, do not worry. I have entered the Zone of Darkness before. Stand back. I know how to handle this situation.

So, I drink a nice cold Diet Coke.

I wait. Still dark.

So, I take a long, hot shower with cranberry-mango shower gel.

I wait. Still dark.

I drink a nice cold Diet Coke while taking a long, hot shower with cranberry-mango shower gel.

Still dark. No change.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. It's time to pull out the big guns.

Martha Stewart marathon. Whipped cream straight from the bottle. A little Internet shopping on Paddy while curled up on the couch with the dog.

Hmmm.

Maybe I should have my dark periods more often. This is the life.

Heck, yes!


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