Hotdogs and Franks and Wieners, Oh My!

I am confounded.

I am confounded in the cured meats section of my neighborhood supermarket. I am confounded because I have no idea whatsoever how to select a hotdog. Or a frankfurter.

Or a wiener, yes.

It's been a long while since I've purchased a wiener, of any variety. It's not that I haven't had the opportunity to purchase a wiener, because of course I have. I have just refrained. From doing so. And in the passing years, it has become entirely too complicated to do so anyhow.

Note: The internet advises that 'weenie' is the slang term for the more formal 'wiener'. A formal wiener?

Huh.

So, there are hot dogs. There are frankfurters, franks for short. There are wieners. And then there is the whole Jumbo business, which I prefer to avoid entirely, yes. No one really knows the difference between them all, although apparently a frankfurter is longer and thinner than a hot dog while a wiener is shorter and plumper than a hot dog so I imagine that a jumbo wiener provides extra length to go along with the girth.

Eew.

I like me some beef ...

Hmmn... Cheesy Dogs

If you can have a Jumbo Wiener, well, why the heck not?

The whole hotdog industry just had to be invented by a man.

Sweet Holy Moses!