Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Eyes Have It.

So, the newscaster is saying something about how Mark Zuckerberg is turning twenty-something today and how he's a bajillionaire and that how one-fifth of California's tax revenue this year is expected to be generated from the forthcoming IPO or IMHO or HBO, whatever that heck that means.

Note: Oh, I know what the heck that means. That means why the heck didn't I invent Facebook? Or why the heck didn't I invent Orville Redenbacher's magical popping popcorn bowl? Or chicken nuggets! That one was just so obvious. Or why the heck didn't I invent Viagra, even?

Sometimes I feel I'm just past my prime.

Oh, sure. The future lies ahead in its limitless potential. Blah, blah, blah.

Note: I have lived for nearly one-half century. Believe me when I tell you that the future is somewhat limited, Pal.

But I still want to leave my mark on the world in a meaningful way. I want to find my purpose and live my authentic life, just like Oprah says. That Oprah is a freaking genius.

Note: Why the heck didn't I invent living an authentic life? Drat.

Sometimes I am just this close, folks. This close.

So, today I'm at pilates. I am stretching and crunching and elongating. In the parking lot, I am smacked in the head by yet another invention that I forgot to invent.

Seriously?
Imagine the stories that P.T. Cruiser could tell ...


Eyelashes for your car.  Metal eyelashes for your car. Sweet Holy Moses.

Okay, not all ideas are great ones, clearly.

You know, I'm suddenly feeling better about my place on this planet. Carry on, Trophy Wives!



3 comments:

Amanda P said...

L.O.L.

Penny said...

ido believe that you, my dear, are a touch sarcastic!! I do love your writing personality...

Brookel said...

did you see these again? didn't we see them the first time together on our free yogurt night with natalie? how delightful! :)