A Wolf. In Scout Clothing.

So, I am a Den Leader.

Note: I know, I know.

But I can't help myself really. Sure I am saying. And I am smiling, even! Sure, I can be a Den Leader.

How hard can it be to corral ten 8 year old boys for an hour once a week? I am thinking. After all, I like boys. I raised a boy. I married a boy, sort of.

Note: I am breaking out in a sweat.

But being a Wolf Den Leader has its perks, yes. I have a spiffy uniform with a necker-cheeef that really ups my street cred. Plus, as a leader, the Wolves refer to me as Akela, which is Native American for Is that Lady Really Wearing a Cub Scout Uniform in Public?

But I am a good sport and with a rocking pair of boots, I can pull off nearly anything, including a scout uniform.

So, I am a Den Leader. Today, we learn about The Buddy System, which can be summarized as this: Get a Buddy. Stay Together. The End.

But Cub Scouts turn The Buddy System into some sort of Lord of the Flies scenario with each Wolf jockeying for position, trying to buddy with the Alpha Male, who by the way, is delineated by his ability to give Turkey Bites to the buttocks of the other Wolves without Akela's detection.

Note: Don't mess with Akela. It has been a long day.

Then one Wolf says to another, We are buddies because we've known each other ever since we were born. Right, Jake? The Other Wolf gives him a Turkey Bite and responds, Dude, my name is Jason.

Ah, another long-lasting friendships made right here. In the Wolf Den.

Good job, Akela.

Heck, yes!