Thursday, October 27, 2011

Just Roll With It.

Actual USGS Scientists at Work
So, the earth is shaking out here in California, a bit, yes.

I do not care for the earthquakes, no.  Mostly because earthquakes are so darn unpredictable. Earthquakes tend to strike when I'm on the potty or naked in the shower or watching Temptation Island. I do not wish to be found in the ruins with my pants puddled around my ankles or in my birthday suit or lazing around on the couch watching cheesy television.

And then there's all the drama. Not from the residents of my fine state, no, because mostly it's how we roll, pun intended.

It is the drama of the USGS.

Note: United States Geological Survey, yes.

Having emerged from his underground bunker in the wastelands of the Nevada desert, probably, The Earthquake Scientist is on the evening news, standing in front of a map and some gadget that looks like my Grandma's old washtub and is pointing and looking grim, yes. Very grim. In somber tones he delivers the bare facts. No sugar-coating from this guy, nosiree.

There is a 99% probability that California will experience a 6.7 magnitude earthquake ... wait for it ... wait for it ...

... in the next thirty years.

Thirty years? Really?

How much government funding does it take to figure that one out?

Thirty years?

Well, I want a piece of this action. I predict that a major hurricane will make landfall in the state of South Carolina ... in the next thirty years. I predict that Will and Jada will split up ... in the next thirty years. Heck, I'll even go out on a limb and predict that the Lowly Chicaco Cubs will end their century-old World Series drought ... sometime in the next thirty years.

Ooh, I think I kind of have a knack for this thing.

I wonder if there are any job openings at the USGS?

Heck, yes!

Note: This post is not intended to diminish any of the suffering of individuals or countries that may have experienced major earthquakes. I'm just fooling around.


Angie Page said...

So true!

Amanda P said...

I can do better. Fargo, ND will experience a blizzard sometime in the next 3 months. Prediction, complete.

Roger and Jackie Harris said...

ha ha ha! Seriously, it has been 22 years since our last "Big One". This is way of preserving his safety. At least he is saying that Oct 21, 2011 was going to be the "End of the World".

Roger and Jackie Harris said...

I seriously need to read my posts before I post them; duh. Let's see: This is his way, and At least he isn't saying. Does that help?