Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Vegas by the Numbers

Here are a few facts about the city of Las Vegas with which you may--or may not--be familiar.

•Las Vegas has a population of 528,617 people
•Las Vegas boasts over 100,000 hotel/motel rooms
•Las Vegas covers 84,272 square miles
•Las Vegas hosts 37.4 million visitors per year (the population of California!)
•Las Vegas has no grocery stores

Astounding, isn't it? There are no grocery stores in the city of Las Vegas, and I get this information from a reliable source. As daughter is my witness, let me recount how this odd fact came to light:

We are in the Brendan Theaters off the strip at the Palms Hotel. The odd set-up of the building requires us to exit the theater area to use the restrooms after securing the best seats in the auditorium, just before the show begins. After the movie, we want to drop by a grocery store and pick up a few items--a baguette, brie, cherries, sugar-free jello and whipped cream--you know, real food. I figure that asking the charming boy at the entrance who is checking our ticket stubs for directions to a nearby store to be a splendid plan.

I swear the kid's name is Brendan. It says so on the tag, but maybe it's because of the Brendan Theaters. Whatever. I have to pry Brendan's sparkling blue eyes off Daughter long enough to ask the question.

"Brendan, can you tell me how to get to the nearest grocery store? We are starving for some real food."

Brendan shakes his head ruefully and explains. "There are no grocery stores in Las Vegas. There are Walgreens, but no grocery stores." His eyes return to Daughter and he smiles. "There are lots of grocery stores in Henderson, though."

Never mind my clever retort to young Brendan. None of that matters now, because there you have it. There are no grocery stores in Las Vegas. And that sad fact explains a lot about the hungry people asking for spare change on the streets. The fine citizens of Las Vegas are STARVING TO DEATH while we just sit back, doing nothing, pulling slot machine arms and sunning by the pool.

Please write to your Congressman, or your Handyman or your Mailman or Batman, for that matter.

Change! Change! Yes, we Can!


Amanda P said...

Who really needs a grocery store, though, when you have all those buffets?
Beside, isn't cigarette smoke supposed to decrease appetite? Cuz if that's the case, nobody is even hungry due to the sheer volume of smoke being inhaled (either first or secondhand).

Stephanie said...

I literally cannot control myself of laughter at this point in time.