So, I am homeless. Not technically, I suppose. In technical terms, I am between homes and although The Aging SUV looks like I am living in it, what-with the crumpled sheets and boxes of Bisquick and a Dyson vacuum cleaner tossed in for good measure, I am not.
Instead, I am sitting in the room of my My Extended-Stay-Type Hotel.
This is the life! I am thinking with exclamation points. This is how the fancy folks live!
Note: No, it is not.
Oh, sure. My Extended-Stay-Type Hotel offers some excellent amenities such as shelter, with the added benefit of not being bothered by those darn maids making my bed and cleaning my room and providing fresh linens, for example.
However, as time passes and the glamour of the life in My Extended-Stay-Type Hotel dims, however slightly, I wish to offer a few notes to the management of such facilities to further ensure the comfort of their guests:
1. Thank you for considering the addition of binoculars in the bedside tables to enhance the viewing of the stunning 19" television.
2. Thank you for hiring gentlemen to paint the metal pool fencing all day everyday. The use of the pool by the Ladies is greatly enhanced by said-gentlemen hanging around all day, painting and painting and painting.
3. Thank you for placing all pets on the third floor. The extra exercise required to traipse up and down the stairs to do business at all hours is an added benefit.
Pardon me now Readers, while I shower for as long as I wish with the water as hot as I wish with no concern for increasing my utility bill. Whatsoever.
I may even shower again, immediately after my shower.
Don't be a hater.
Heck, yes!
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1 comment:
Why do you have Bisquick in your car? You can't even bake in your super FANCY short term residence.
Hoarder.
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