Thursday, December 16, 2010

My. Christmas. Wish.

I am listening to the conversation of the Cute Young Men who are checking me out at the grocery store.

Note: Simmer down. They are not checking me out, per se. The Cute Young Men are checking out my groceries: two stalks of celery, two red potatoes, a sourdough roll, a bottle of diet coke with lime and a can of light whipped cream.

Additional Note: Light cream? That's an oxymoron, my friends.

The Cute Young Men, with Justin Bieber hair, are discussing their shared mutual Christmas Wish of saving the world, someday. I comment, because I must, of course. What aspect of Christmas world-saving do you have in my mind? I say.

The Cute Young Men shrug. Oh, the environment, one says while the other, clearly his wing-man, nods agreeably.

Oh, I say, that's nice, but my Christmas Wish is for everyone in the world to have an iPad.

Then I realize that sadly, I am in the midst of Non-Believers.

The Cute Non-Believing Young Men mock the iPad. The best gadget you didn't know you needed, they are saying, Oh the giant iPhone, they are saying.

I am patient with The Ignorant. It is not their fault.

It's because you do not own one, I say, it's because you simply do not know the fantasticness that is the iPad.

I explain it's fantasticness, briefly. I read and respond to emails, I peruse MLS listings, I use it for recipes, I GPS myself and others, I blog, I write my book, I play games, I create grocery lists, I check my (busy) social calendar, I check weather anywhere I wish, I buy stuff online, I share photos of my freaking adorable Grandson, would like to see?, I listen to music, I draw pictures, I read novels, I G-chat, I watch movies and television when I travel, I read and mark my scriptures, I wirelessly print all kinds of stuff, and that's just the beginning, yes!

The Cute Non-Believing Ignorant Young Men listen, politely. Then, as if hit by some bolt of lightning, Checker-Outer says, Oh, it's like a computer. Except you can take it anywhere you wish!

The Wingman agrees. And it doesn't take up so much room in a landfill oneday and ruin the environment like a big old computer.

I smile. My work here is done.

I will go home now. To my Big Giant Desktop 27-inch I-Mac with all the bells and whistles.

I hear a landfill, calling my name ...

Heck, yes!


Amanda P said...

That made you seem a lot more technologically inclined then I consider you to be. Nicely done.

Lindsay said...

Bah ha! You really are spoiled with all of your fancy, land filling gadgets.

Roger and Jackie Harris said...

Ditto! I agree with the girls. Yes, I said girls.