Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My Mamms Got Grammed

Note: October is breast cancer awareness month, or something like that. Although I am not necessarily a big breast-health advocate (although I think it's a grand idea to be sure), I had a mammogram today. Go get yours! (Unless you are a man. But if you ARE a man, encourage a woman or trophy wife you love to take good care of herself. And, if applicable, check her breasts periodically. As a means of showing you care, of course. But I digress.)

I arrived for my mammogram ten minutes early, minus deodorant and already feeling a little less than fresh, and browsed through an edition of Bon Appetit from July 1999, which is about the last time I had a mammogram, come to think of it. Yes, I had been putting it off. But not for the reasons you may think. I wasn't afraid of the discomfort or worried about the results and choosing to stick my head in the sand. Actually, I'm a bit (okay, maybe a LOT) lighter than I was back in the day and I was a little embarrassed to stand there in my lack. Of. Breasts.

I could imagine the tech trying to stifle a giggle as she pushed and pulled and stretched and compressed before finally pulling out a magnifying glass to see if she could find my breasts.

Luckily, that didn't happen. The pushing, pulling and stretching perhaps, but she didn't need the magnifying glass. Maybe she relied on the braille method, but I don't know that for sure.

When it was over (and it was quick) I admired my breast on the radiograph (Okay, I admit that I made that term up. It was a computer screen, but I don't know what it is officially called. Just don't call it a magnifying glass). I was quite pleased with the impressive little mound on the 'radiograph' and went my way with my Love-Hope-Strength-Courage breast cancer pencil, my pink breath mint (one of those yummy smooth kind that are served at somewhat cheesy receptions--sorry, but it's true) AND a 'I Had My Mammogram Today' sticker.

Oh, I also left with a free consultation for esthetic services. I admit it was the real reason I had my appointment today. Vanity sometimes takes precedence over health. Luckily, today I was able to kill two birds with one stone!



Doug said...

All I can say is am I a fan of breast health.

Matthew Gamblin said...

Oh dear. I don't know if your son was supposed to read that. :)

Amanda P said...

Now, the eternal question - would you rather have your mamms grammed or your pap smeared?