Music and Manicures and Manilow?

I am not sure that I could really qualify as a trophy wife without acrylic nails. I am not implying that YOU, dear reader, require acrylic nails to reach your trophy wife potential. I'm just saying: Acrylic nails: Awesome.

I spent most of my life as a nervous wreck, chewing my nails and hiding them from the world. No more, my friends. My nails are short, yet lovely. And have you ever tried to chew on an acrylic nail? It's right up there on your dentist's lists of cringe-worthy events with opening bottles with one's teeth. (By the way, that conjures up a very unattractive image. Back away.)

And I have found the very best acrylic-nailist EVER! Her name is Yvonne, which I find interesting, because when she came to the U.S., she selected that name herself. She is Vietnamese and her real name is a bit challenging to pronounce, so she changed it for her clients. I'm just wondering if I showed up in California and could select a new name for myself, would I choose. . . Yvonne? No offense to the Yvonnes out there, of course, but I think I'd go more . . . say, hip. Maybe. Paris? Beyonce? Sasha Fierce? Okay, maybe not, but I think my point is still valid.

The shop I go to is located conveniently by 24-hr Fitness and K-mart. It's clean, well-managed and Yvonne is AWESOME. As I'm sitting there getting my nails done, my local somewhat-lame-but-finds-itself-to-be-important radio station plays in the background. It's one of those easy listening catch-alls that plays everything from Sting to Barry Manilow. Well, currently it's 24/7 Christmas music which is AWESOME. Really. I love Christmas music. Except for that stupid "Grown up Christmas List" song which is just dumb. Seriously, "No more lives torn apart? That wars would never start?" What about, "Plenty of cash in my account? Thermador at a discount?" I also find myself annoyed by the "Do they know it's Christmastime at all?" It's that one about the kids in Africa. Seriously, do they celebrate Christmas in Africa? If not, they probably don't KNOW it's Christmastime and I'm guessing they probably don't really care, either.

Anyway, Yvonne is working feverishly on my nails, chatting occasionally behind that mask. It's kinda hard to understand her even without the mask, so mostly I nod and smile. She is VERY cute and did I mention, AWESOME? So, all this music has been going on and all the sudden another of my lesser-favorite Christmas songs comes on. Feliz Navidad. I'm not a real expert on Jose Feliciano, but I'm hoping this wasn't his finest work.

But to my surprise, Yvonne lights up like, well, a Christmas tree! From behind her mask, she sings EVERY word--well, just the Spanish ones, which was odd--clearly and with great delight. "I just love this song," she explains, singing along until, blissfully, it ends.

"Nice color," she says, with a nod toward the nail polish I had purchased at K-mart.

And that was that.